All the Lasers
Let me tell you about my experience with two laser treatments: Lasik eye surgery and laser hair removal. I probably started thinking about each around 15 years ago. I always held back due to budget constraints or feasibility, but in this past year I finally took the plunge and did both. What better time to do so than when you’re halfway to seventy, right? If you’re considering either, you’ve probably already hit up the Google-sphere. Here’s my take on each:
Lasik
Making the Decision
Prior to surgery, I was wearing daily contacts. If you’re in them, you know they’re not that big of a deal. They’re already a hefty improvement from the weeklies (or bi-weekies in my case). Eyes dry out less, you no longer need to carry around contact solution when you travel, and you don’t have to worry about the grody contact case.
But there is the downside of each day you’re popping open two new pieces of plastic (I’m sorry environment!) and they’re costly - about $1/ day per eye. And that’s what ultimately led me to taking the plunge. Even though the upfront cost of Lasik is a lot, it pays for itself in the long run.
How to get started
Start with your optometrist. See what they think about your prescription and ask for surgeon recos. Keep in mind your rx should be stable for a few years. This is because Lasik is a permanent solve; so it can’t solve a problem that’s still a moving target.
How does it work?
Mind you, I’m not a medical professional, but this is how I understand the effectiveness of Lasik. Bad eyesight is because the shape of your eyes are off and which in turn affects how your eye refracts light. Glasses or lenses are essentially “helpers” - they adjust how your eyeball sees those refractions of light so that you can see clearly. Lasik uses lasers to cut and reshape the eye (cornea specifically) so that you can properly refract light and no longer need helpers.
Getting to procedure
Some folks like to meet multiple surgeons before settling on one. I’ve done that for previous surgeries, but for this one, I mainly spent my time researching online and asking friends who’d had it done recently. Here’s what goes down once you narrow down a surgeon:
Initial consult: this is sorta like a regular optometry exam on steroids. They make sure you’re a viable candidate (aka, do you have enough cornea for them to effectively cut). You need to stop wearing your contacts 1-3 days before this appointment.*
Pre-Op appointment: Once your candidacy is determined, your pre-op is scheduled. You need to stop wearing contacts a week (7 days) before this appointment.
Surgery: Believe it or not, I was only at the clinic for 40 minutes. More on this below. You need to stop wearing contacts a week (7 days) before this appointment.
Post-op: One day after surgery.
*in case you were wondering: you have to stop wearing contacts days ahead because contacts affect the shape of your eyes
What to expect during surgery
It really does only take 5 minutes per eye. Basically, they’ll tape down the eye that isn’t being worked on and then put a contraption in your eye to keep you eye open. Then they’ll DOUSE your eye in numbing drops as they get started. And then from there, you basically have to stare at either a red light or a green light, depending on where the are in the process.
At some point you’ll feel some pressure, then it’ll go completely pitch black dark for a moment and then the lasering starts. This was the weirdest part. You definitely know there’s lasering going on because it smells like burnt hair for a few seconds. Yes, gnar. But then after that, you’re basically done. You stare at the colored light again, they douse you in saline solution and that eye is all set. If you’re getting both eyes done, they’ll tape the completed eye down and rinse and repeat. Then you get your sunglasses.
After care
The first four hours your eyes will be light sensitive, so keep them closed. Artificial non-preservative tears go in every hour. Follow Doc’s orders for antibiotic and anti-inflammatory drops. Mine were every four hours for seven days. I was able to drive myself to my post-op appointment the next day, but couldn’t look at screens longer than 20 minutes at a time the day after. You also need to wear these baddies for the first seven days while you sleep so you don’t bump or rub your eyes.
The most inconvenient part was not being able to run your eyes while washing your face for the first month. But that’s about it. Overall, I describe the whole thing as nothing less than a miracle. After wearing glasses for 31 years, being able to see as soon as I wake up is truly life changing.
Ok, now onto
Laser Hair Removal
This treatment is a little simpler to explain comparatively, ha! The basics:
It takes up to 9 sessions, 6 weeks apart to affect all of your hair’s growth cycles
It works better on darker hair, so if you have lighter hair definitely ask questions about that
It doesn’t hurt that bad, it’s kind of like getting snapped with a rubber band. If you’ve ever had a tattoo, you’ll totally be fine
Most places already do this now, but ask if their laser uses cooling air. And then get that laser! I once had to use the other laser machine and I was NOT into it. It felt more like a suction cup that pinches you vs. a rubber band snap and it was warm. No thanks!
If you’ve ever had a wax, you basically do all the same positions that waxing requires (butterfly and spread cheeks for full brazilian, arm up above your head for armpits, etc.)
A once-a-year touch up is recommended
Session costs vary per laser clinic, but for reference, I paid around $1100-$1200 (+ tip each session) for a 9 session package. It’s a big investment upfront, but if you calculate how much you’ve been paying for those waxes, it’s not too shabby for a more permanent solution.
If you go to the right kind of clinic, you’ll be able to use your HSA!
So that’s the deal if you’re considering getting zapped :)
TL:DR - worth it!